To Much Sitting Raises Odds for Cancer
http://gma.yahoo.com/too-much-sitting-raises-odds-cancer-study-162607756.html
We have always been told that exercise is key to maintain good health, but did we ever consider the time we spend sitting down to be unhealthy? It is a relatively abstract thought, especially to many high school students who spend most of the 8 or 9 hours a day of school sitting. This article written by Steven Reinberg shows this scary possibility by the effective uses of details, diction and syntax.
Details- This article has many details which help support the well educated voice. For an medical and shocking article to be believable, it must contain an ample amount of statistics and factual evidence. For example how does exercise reduce the risk of cancer? Many have learned that inflammation is variable that affects cancer, but the article goes into detail to put evidence behind the claim. The article uses modern experimenting to explain. "In her most recent work, Friedenreich and her colleagues have found an association between exercise and the reduction of markers of inflammation, such as one called C-reactive protein, which might explain how exercise reduces the risk of breast cancer." With out these specific details of the processes of cancer and the experimental work that scientists are conducting, the article would lose a lot of its credibility.
Diction- Word choice is a huge part of what makes an article excellent. Again with an educational article, an air of knowledge must be presented. Reinberg used sophisticated vocabulary at a level where both common readers and the highly educated could easily understand. For example, "Epidemiologist" "sedentary" "Inflammation" and "Mechanisms." These specific word choices help the reader better understand the greater risks being presented.
Syntax- Reinburg is constantly varying sentence structure and length within this article.Many sentances are short and consice and to get a piont across, "Office workers may spend 75 percent of their time sitting." The lack of filler in this sentence makes it a bolder statement, and very shocking. Other sentences are elongated to elaborate on a point.
So remember next time you sit down in front of your computer to do your blog homework, maybe you should reconsider. It could be hazardous to your health.
~Dana
You raise good point, though I thought the thesis be be better worded. What scary posibitlity is "this" scary possiblitly? Each of the body paragraphs independantly, seem fime, but as a whole, they need to have a better connection, and tie into your thesis , which I am confused about. is it that sitting alot increase risk of cancer? if so you need to support that idea with each of the techniques you adress, and look at how each applies to the meaning of the piece.
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